04
I couldn’t say for sure if there was love in Thomas‘ complex gaze alongside his guilt. But even
if there was, it was probably gone by now.
For example, his patience, he stayed for less than 10 minutes before turning and walking
away. Ruby walked behind him, deliberately turning back to glance at me, a provocative look in
her eyes. It was as if she was saying, “The man I casually discarded years ago can be taken back
with just a little effort. Unlike you, who loved him for seven years and ended up as nothing more than a joke.”
“Is that guy your husband?” Noah asked, sounding furious. “What a j*rk, coming to visit you
and bringing his mistress! If he shows up again, don’t even talk to him!”
Why would he come again? He loved Ruby so much and had exhausted all his patience with
- me. He was probably just counting down the days until I died, and then he’d smoothly marry
Ruby.
“Don’t mention him again. I don’t want to waste even a single thought on him from now on.”
I shook my head, pushed Thomas‘ image out of my mind, and settled into a quiet routine,
T
1496.. Mon, 27 Jan
reading, soaking up the sunlight, and letting the days pass peacefully.
62%
Bofore I know it, autumn had deepened, the leaves falling more rapidly and the wind growing
colder.
My condition worsened as well. I needed a wheelchair even to go for a short walk, and I only
dared to sit in the sun around noon. Noah stayed close, never leaving my side.
One afternoon, I dozed off for a while. When the cold wind woke me up, Noah wasn’t there.
Suddenly, I panicked and called out, “Thomas!”
Only after the words loft my mouth did I realize I’d called the wrong name. But to my surprise,
Thomas appeared.
He crouched in front of me, a silly grin on his face. “After seven years together, how could
you just let go of me? You still care about me, don’t you? You asked Noah to be your caregiver because he looks like I did when I was younger, didn’t you?”
I didn’t respond. I just stared at him in surprise.
“What are you doing here again? Checking to see if I’m dead yet? In a hurry to marry Ruby?”
Thomas shook his head fiercely.
I
“Arya, I really don’t care about Ruby anymore. Did she secretly add you as a friend and post
things to provoke you? I gave her a good scolding and kicked her out of the company. I took back
all the gifts I gave her, even the house. Arya, I’m doing all this to prove something to you. The
person I’ve always loved is you. It’s always been you! I sold half of my company’s shares to bring in the best medical team. Now you have to believe me, right?”
Looking into Thomas‘ eyes, which didn’t seem fake, I felt more confused. “But you always disliked me for growing old and losing my looks. I’m about to die. Why are you wasting money on
this?”
“I… I never disliked you. Arya, I neglected and ignored you, not because I didn’t care, but
because the company had too many problems. I needed an outlet, and Ruby happened to
come back…”
The more Thomas spoke, the more ridiculous it sounded.
He said that in his circle, no man was without an affair. He thought as long as he didn’t affect my status, having an affair was nothing to worry about. He thought I should forgive him.
I laughed out loud. “Stop wasting your energy, Thomas. The Arya who loved you with all her
heart, the one who saw only you, is already dead, and you killed her.”
Thomas had guessed right. I had chosen Noah as a caregiver not only because he was
careful but also because he resembled Thomas.
So many times, I couldn’t help but lose myself in the illusion that Noah was Thomas.
I dreamt of the day he jumped into the freezing lake and saved me from certain death. He
was as warm as the sun, making my remaining life feel a little less cold.
But dreams were just dreams.
Having one beautiful dream was enough for me. I really didn’t need him, the man who hurt
me so deeply.
“Arya, if I had known how seriously ill you were, I would have never bought Ruby a house. I
14.06. Mon, 27 Jan.
. 62%
would have done anything to save you. Please forgive me, for the sake of the time I saved your life. Let me at least accompany you to the end. Please?”
Looking at Thomas kneeling in front of me, filled with hope, I still felt nothing, only a sense of disgust.
“No. If you don’t leave, I’ll have security escort you out.”
