“Since you came back,l can’t get you out of here.” He taps his head.
but I want to hold her.” He raises his hand up so his fingertip almost brushes my lips. I can feel the electricity from his almost touch tingling me lips
“I want to kiss her, but I can’t, because all I can think about is kissing you. It’s so messed up.” His soul is starting to open Tor me, trying to pull me in
up to me. I can feel it reaching
“It was wasder for me when we were younger. You looked like a little girl with nothing that I wanted except y your soul. Even then, I wanted your soul in mine,” he says, letting his voice whisper the last words out.
thought that could fight it, that it wasn’t that hard. You went away, which made it much easier for me. After the first year, I could pretend you were never here. But then you came back. I always love you would. I just didn’t expect this. I never expected this. You are the most beautiful thing ever.” His hands are clenched so tight that small droplets of blood start to splatter on the green grass.
“You stand in front of me looking at me with these eyes, I can’t stop thinking about them. I want to lay you down and just stare at them. I want so much from you, vet at the exact same time, I have so much from Kennedy. She has given me so much. She is my best friend, my lover, my everything I can’t Just give that up. I want to for you, but I can’t for her.
“I’m sorry. This is how I feel.” He just studies me, waiting for my words to tumble out.
Inhaling for a long moment, he lets his breath out slow through parted lips, tongue licking them, moistening them. I want to groan with the sight I have at the moment
“I can smell you, Rya. I can catch you on the breeze when I least expect it. You smell innocent, as if your skin is waiting for mine.” He takes just the tiniest step toward me. I could reach out now and touch him if I want to. I don’t. Instead,I take his scent into me, inhaling long and slow. I smell the complete maleness of him, the sweet desire of him.
I can smell you, Clayton, yet underneath all your layers, I can smell Kennedy. I can smell her in every pore, every crack of your skin, everywhere. I’m not sure she could ever really fade away from your smell.” I want to weep with this thought.
“I don’t want her scent to fade off my skin, but I want to be on your skin.”
“Does she know you’re here?” wait for his answer. “No.” Shame fills his face.
“You need to leave me alone, Clayton. I can’t do this. I’m not the other female. I’m not that type of person.” My eyes are stinging from all my crying
“I can’t.” He’s looking at me again. “I’m sorry. I want to leave you alone, but I just can’t. I can’t stop loving her, either. I can’t turn that off.” “You can’t have the both of us.”
“I know that.”
“Then I will make that choice for you, Stop looking at me, stop following me around, and stop trying to contact me. I need you to just leave. Turn around and walk away like you did that day. Go to her. Go to where you belong.” He doesn’t move.
It’s my move, and I choose to give him my back, taking the first real step away. It’s not forced out of embarrassment or to not cause a scene. This is my choice to walk away willingly. In a way, I can breathe just a touch easier than before
Itum around one last time. He’s still standing in that same spot, unable to move away from me.
Screw you, Clayton, for doing this to me.” I’m not malicious in my words, they aren’t harsh. I don’t scream them out. They are just my soft truth Closing my door, I breathe out a slow, painful breath.
The mirror above the basin of the sink holds my reflection in the glass. The image staring back has red, puffy eyes and tired lungs. I watch as the smallest breeze finds its way in to gently blow the delicate curtains up, Staring at myself, I just see a female who is only trying to exist. Nothing more, nothing less, just existing
apy water takes him away,
Stepping into the shower, I wash away the faint layer of his scent that was trying to cling to me. Down the drain, the soapy nothing to linger, nothing to remind me thathe’s been here.
