Chapter 13
[My dearest,
With every breath, I’m drawn to you, like a river flows to the sea. Your love is my guiding star, my shelter from the world’s turbulence. Your smile is the melody that fills my heart, a symphony of joy.]
The words were beautifully written and poetic, but I didn’t want to read anymore.
I scoffed, “You have no idea what I truly love and desire.”
I didn’t just love romantic love letters, I loved having someone to show me true love through those love letters.
I have craved true love and I didn’t get it in the nine years that I’ve been together with Blake. Fortunately, I now have true love in training and becoming a better version of myself.
For me, his belated love, like autumn
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leaves, had withered and lost its beauty.
Blake growled, “Was I ever abusive to you, Amber? I provided for you and even helped out your lazy father out of his debt!”
I growled at him and stretched out my left arm as I caressed it with my right hand.
“I had glass shards sticking into my skin because of your precious Hailey, and they brought me a great deal of pain as they healed slowly!” I exclaimed as I frowned.
The cuts from the glass shards have left nasty scars on my arms. Even though we heal, we still have scars.
I pointed at a scar on my right thumb as I said, “I got this scar from ironing your clothes. My thumb was burnt, but you didn’t care. You yelled at me and
complained that I didn’t know how to use electronics because I come from a low class family.”
I pointed at the scary on my left palm and the tops of my fingers, “Getting this scar
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had to do with doing dishes. I was washing dishes so hard, afraid that you would be
mad once you came home and saw that I wasn’t done tidying up the kitchen.
The glass cup slipped from my hands and shattered on the floor. I picked up the glass shards in a hurry because of you and they hurt me.”
I stared at him as I felt so angry that I wanted to punch him again.
“Have I jogged your memory?” I asked him in a harsh voice.
He looked down as a guilty look showed on his face. It was obvious that he recalled all that I had said even though he didn’t
answer me.
There was a day when Blake asked me to bring him dinner to the pack’s border. It was snowing and my car wouldn’t start. There also weren’t taxis in the area that we lived in, so I had to walk so many miles in the snow to reach him.
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I had to walk through the woods at night and I bumped into many cactus. The spikes pierced into my skin and even though they
hurt me, what happened next hurt me even
more.
After I reached the border, I couldn’t find anyone, so after searching for almost an hour, I walked back home.
On my way home, I spotted Blake inside a restaurant and before I could go in, Hailey walked over.
She rolled her eyes at me as she taunted,
“Classy restaurants like this would never let a low class person in. Don’t humiliate yourself any further and leave. You have no place here.”
Blake walked out of the restaurant at that time and frowned when he saw me.
“Why didn’t you bring me dinner early? I couldn’t wait anymore and had to come to this restaurant.” He said, putting the blame on me like he always did.
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I came to know that Hailey actually invited me to dinner after she suggested that he ask me to bring him dinner to the pack‘ s border.
Blake pulled me out of my thoughts as he asked, “Why don’t we put the past behind us, Amber? Why do you keep talking about it? You’ve messed up before, haven’t you?”
He always loved gaslighting me. It was his talent. Whenever things went wrong, it was my fault.
If I believe his sweet words and say them back, I was a shameless she–wolf that was plotting to control him with sweet words. If I did my duties in the pack house, I was a worn out housewife that only knew how to do chores.
Blake was always pampering Hailey and being gentle with her while he was abusive and rough with me.
He never deprived her of what she wanted, but he always did that to me.
