Crush on this thing
Chapter 1
When I was seventeen, I was crushing hard on
this guy.
My family wasn’t rolling in dough, so I’d been
saving for a year to buy him a birthday gift. The
day my mom had her accident, I’d skipped out
of school early. That’s when I heard him,
laughing with his buddy.
“This thing? Man, a participation prize at some
diner would be better than this,” he’d said, all
smug.
His friend cracked up. “Knowing Ray, he’d
never use it. Give it to me, I could hock it for
some internet time.”
“Whatever, take it,” Ray tossed it at him like it
was trash, and our eyes met.
1
<
Years later, at our high school reunion, I heard
Ray had been looking for me for eight years.
- 1.
When Ray and I made eye contact, his face
tightened. His buddy, holding the watch, looked awkward, scratching his head. “Uh, you want
me to give it back?”
The watch was pretty messed up, like it hadn’t
been cared for. It wasn’t a fancy watch, maybe
a hundred bucks, but I’d saved for almost a
year for it. Every bit of it was from cutting back
on lunch money.
My gaze drifted to Ray’s wrist. He was wearing a watch, too. I didn’t recognize the brand, but it was a high–end piece, leagues better than what
I’d gotten him.
I took the beat–up watch from Ray’s friend in silence. “Sorry, I’ll just deal with it.”
<
Ray dropped his gaze, his lips pressed together.
He didn’t say a word.
The embarrassment was thick, so I turned and
walked out of there. When I passed the first
trash can by the school gate, I chucked the
watch right in.
I turned back for a last look. Ray raised his
eyes, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips,
his eyes full of mockery.
I froze, dropping my gaze.
My crush was humiliating.
Back then, I didn’t realize that look of his would
haunt me.
- 2.
I got home and my dad was sitting on the
porch, a cheap cigarette hanging from his lips,
<
My mom wasn’t there.
He handed me a report. Breast cancer, it said.
Dad took a long drag of his cigarette. “It’s
gonna be like, fifteen, twenty grand to treat this thing. Your mom and I talked… We’re not going to.”
“Your mom wanted some ribs, go grab some from the store. I’m gonna go pick her up later.”
I refused to believe it, flipping through the report. “Did they do the full tests? I mean, they get this wrong all the time, right? Let’s get a second opinion tomorrow. It has to be wrong…”
My dad’s eyes were red, and he stared at me.
He didn’t say anything.
The tears just started rolling. “I’m done with
school. Let’s use my savings for mom’s treatment.”
<
Dad dropped his head.
I knew he hurt just as much as I did. My dad
had a bad leg. My mom was the only one who
wanted to be with him, didn’t look down on him.
She always cheered him on.
Our family was poor, but Mom and Dad were
crazy about each other.
In middle school, everyone was finding their
faith. I asked my dad, “Pop, what’s your faith?”
He didn’t know what “faith” meant, so I
explained it.
He laughed, embarrassed, “My faith is your
mom.”
And then… I found my faith too.
I wanted to grow up, make money, and show
my mom and dad the world.
Now Dad’s faith was gone,
So was mine.
I took Dad’s hand and started talking. “I’m
dropping out, I’ll get a job. We can go to
Boston to get Mom treatment.”
My dad kept smoking, saying nothing.
But my mind was made up.
I told Dad to go get Mom, pack our bags, and
we’d leave for Boston. I headed back to school.
- 3.
It started to pour when I was halfway there.
Everyone was rushing, trying to get out of the
rain. That’s when I let myself cry, the rain and
tears mixing.
By the time I got to school. the place was
>
empty.
)
I reached into the stinky trash can. I went
through every bit of garbage but it wasn’t there.
My watch.
I wanted to slap myself for chucking it. I could
have gotten a few bucks for it!
I spent a few hours searching. There was no
watch.
I walked home, defeated.
There wasn’t anyone on the streets. The rain
was coming down hard, stinging a little.
Dad still wasn’t back. Our house, usually so
warm, just felt cold.
I waited and waited.
Finally, someone came rushing over to me,
<
“Your mom and dad… they jumped off the
bridge!”
That was my senior year of high school. I lost
both of my parents. I became an orphan.
