“You’ve been hiding it deep.”
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“If you’re not feeling well, I’ll give you a week off. Remember to report back on time next week, otherwise your bonus will be gone.”
Scrolling up further, there was a clear record of someone using my phone to make dozens of calls late last night, with the last call lasting over two minutes.
I could guess with my toes who did it, and I could guess what James said.
In the afternoon, I took the medication prescribed by the hospital and snuck back home, vowing to eat healthily and have regular meals from now on.
I silently planned it out, then immediately broke my vow as soon as I got home, curling up on the couch drinking takeout porridge while watching TV series.
When I got bored, I scrolled through my phone.
In the work group chat, someone had resigned. That person was Ryan.
Then Ryan sent me a message, “I’m leaving, Lily. I hope you and Dr. Quinn can be happy.”
I sighed, from now on losing a close friend. But thinking carefully, I really didn’t have any feelings for Ryan, even when intimately holding arms, or when he protected me from behind, holding hands to get in the car.
My heart was calm, but with James it was completely different. I angrily thought, should I change jobs again?
Might as well jump to a job abroad, it would be best to never see James again.
I sent Ryan a simple “okay“, but it didn’t go through. A clear red exclamation mark appeared on the screen.
A year of friendship, at this moment turned to nothing. Sometimes I wonder, if I could be like Ryan, able to turn around and leave cleanly without any lingering attachments, that would be good.
A ding sound pulled me back to reality. A familiar doctor avatar wearing a white coat and holding a syringe sent a message, “Open the door.”
I remember two years ago I had already blocked and deleted all of James’s contact information.
How did this guy suddenly pop up again.
It must have been James using my phone to unblock himself last night.
Angrily, I replied with a question mark.
James continued to send a message, “Open the door, Lily.”
Just these four simple words, and I couldn’t even type out a refusal. In the past, James
would either not call my name, or only call my full name.
3
This was the first time he called me Lily.
I also remembered last night at the banquet, when he hugged me and whispered in my ear with anger, “Lily Sanders, you’ve really learned some new tricks in these two years.”
Then came several more messages, “I brought a lot of things.”
“After all, I saved your life last night.”
“You won’t be so heartless, right?”
Trick! It’s definitely a trick!
Being the grateful person I am, I still couldn’t resist going to open the door. As a result, apart from a bag of groceries and a black plastic bag in his hand, he had nothing else.
I crossed my arms and looked at him, “Is this what you call ‘a lot of things‘?”
James didn’t speak, but kept looking behind me. I curiously turned to look, and then my face instantly turned red.
Because my house was exceptionally messy, almost like a dog’s den. Although there wasn’t much garbage, it was far from James’s house. Then I swallowed the shame and anger in my heart, glared at him, and said, “What are you looking at? Oh, I forgot, Dr. Quinn is a severe germaphobe, probably doesn’t want to enter my house. Goodbye, and don’t come back.”
Then I raised my hand to close the door, but James’s beautiful hands blocked it. His tone unexpectedly softened a bit, “It’s okay, I can accept this.”
These words sounded a bit forced.
James took out a pair of men’s slippers from the black plastic bag behind the groceries, put them on, and then stepped in, closing the door behind him.
I mumbled, “James, you’ve really become normal after two years?”
James didn’t look at me, but found the kitchen and washed his hands three times upon entering.
I suddenly realized that I had asked a meaningless question.
“Lily Sanders, I thought you would live well after leaving me, but it doesn’t seem to be the
case.”
I sat on the couch, “You came all the way here just to scold me?”
James wiped his hands as he walked over, “No, did you forget what I told you yesterday? I said, let’s get back together.”
I remembered the year I spent with James, feeling sour in my heart, “James, do you know what you’re saying?”
“Do you think I would still be that girl who loved you so much that she could endure being treated like a stranger for a year?”
The two of us were silent for a moment, then James suddenly said, “But, when you ran away, you sexually harassed me. You have to take responsibility.”
The heavy atmosphere was completely broken by his words. I actually found it a bit childish and funny.
It was just a bite and a touch, right?
Is it necessary?
To remember it until now.
I turned my head, not wanting to talk to him. James came over and forcibly turned my face to make eye contact with him, “Lily Sanders, I’m sorry.”
He said seriously and sincerely, “You were my first girlfriend. When you confessed to me,
I saw your expectant look and didn’t reject you because I didn’t dislike you. I’ve never had
close contact with many people from childhood to adulthood. I didn’t touch you, partly
because I never knew what to do. I had never taken the initiative to get close to someone.”
“On the other hand, it was because we weren’t married yet.”
Damn, so holding hands, hugging, and light kisses had to wait until after marriage?
