But it was just wishful thinking.
It was an embarrassing crush.
Ray was getting married, and I would use this
time to give myself a closure.
- 16.
:
J
<
12:31
The next night, Ray knocked on my door.
I opened it, and a blast of alcohol hit me.
It was pouring rain, and he was soaked.
914
Ray pulled me into a hug, and buried his face in
my neck. I felt my neck get wet immediately.
Ray whispered into my ear, “Izzy, I’ve been
looking for you for eight years. You didn’t leave
any clue for me to find you. Do you hate me?”
Ray’s voice was a little sad, a little slurred.
I tilted my head. “Ray, you’re drunk.”
Ray stood up straight and pulled out a watch.
I recognized it right away.
It was the watch I threw in the trash back in the
day.
“I found it. Don’t throw it away again.”
I looked down, “It’s not worth anything. Don’t
keep it.”
Ray’s breath hitched. He grabbed my chin,
forced me to look at him. His eyes burned with
possessiveness.
He kissed me hard, and said in a low voice.
“Izzy, I regret it. I shouldn’t have been jealous.”
My eyes widened. I tried to step away but Ray’s
hand tightened around my waist, keeping me
from moving.
Ray’s tongue parted my lips, he was
dominating, hands locked me down to keep me
from moving.
He tasted like liquor, hot and intense.
The kiss that I had imagined during high school happened in that moment.
I looked at Ray, expressionless. I laughed and
said. “Ray, let’s sleep together. You can’t just take without giving, right?”
“Back in high school you teased me like a
monkey on a string. A monkey gets tired, you
know. I need something in return to keep me going, you know, Ray?”
Ray frowned and brushed a loose strand of hair
from my face. “Izzy, you’re sick.”
“Let’s go see a doctor tomorrow, ok?”
Ray’s voice was the softest it had ever been.
I tilted my head. I saw the girl standing behind him.
She was standing cut
She was standing quietly behind him in the rain.
She looked unfamiliar before but now it all
makes sense.
She and Ray were from the same world.
They’d grown up together.
But she didn’t know me, or about all the girls
Ray had dated.
- 18.
Ever since swimming class, Ray had started
acting like a different person, always teasing
- me.
When I was studying, Ray would lean in at the window, snatching my book and say,
“Valedictorian, still studying?”
I’d stutter, “There’s… exams coming up…‘
<
12:31
The others would laugh, “Ray, why are you
always teasing the valedictorian? You are
making her nervous.
99
914
Ray raised his brows and came closer, studying
my face, “I’m just looking.”
I’d kept my head low.
When they played basketball, Ray would turn down other girls‘ water and say, “Sorry, the
class valedictorian already brought me water.”
I never brought him water, so I’d end up running
to get him some.
Later, at the school sports festival, Ray had brought a girl with him.
During that time, Ray didn’t even give me a
second look.
<
12:31
914
I saw him talking to that girl, “Come on, I don’t
have an umbrella. Can’t you just stay in the
shade?”
The girl was fair–skinned and very pretty.
I offered my umbrella in silence.
The girl didn’t even look at me. “Ugly. I won’t
use it. Whoever wants it can have it.”
Ray tossed the umbrella back at me. “Fine.
Fine. I won’t play basketball if you don’t like the sun.”
